Legends of Atlantis
by turbomagnus
Summary: A collection of shorts for "Stargate: Atlantis" that are not long enough to be posted individually.
1. The Hunter

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. Sometimes I think they destroyed Orion just so Atlantis wouldn't get to have a ship of its own and would thus be stuck relying on Earth et al... Did anyone check and make sure no one from Daedalus sabotaged Orion before the battle?

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"The Hunter"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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It liked these Descendents; not just because they had saved it from a firey death, but unlike so many of the Lanteans themselves, these Descendents seemed to understand for what it was that a ship like it was meant to be used. That showed in the name they had given it after its firey rebirth. If it had possessed the ability, the vessel would have smiled upon learning what the name meant. Orion, a hunter so great that even gods feared his skill. The name fit well, better than that of a general who had lost planets like Athos, Porth and Ramis to The Enemy. Such failure did not deserve to be honored. Soon, it would be ready to hunt again, and The Enemy would learn to fear the new _Orion_ as gods of the Descendants' myths feared the old. It would be glorious.

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Author's Note: Seriously, who else thinks of The Three Musketeers whenever they hear of 'Athos' or the 'Athosians'?


	2. Indistinguishable

Summary: Not everything the Ancients left behind is going to turn out to be a personal shield, a solar system destroying superweapon or a spaceship or outpost, some things are a little more... mundane.

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. Please remember not to feed the Wraith.

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"Indistinguishable"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

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"Behold the Sceptre of Illumination!" A man announced boldly.

Another man looked at the first and frowned, "It's a flashlight."

"Bow before the Sceptre of Illumination!" The first man demanded.

"Seriously, it's a flashlight," the second man repeated.

The man with the Sceptre's eyes seemed to widen in angered disbelief, "Do not mock the Sceptre of Illumination."

"'I'm not mocking your Sceptre... well, that one at least... I'm just saying that it's a flashlight; I've got one, we've all got one, look here...' And that's when things went... 'pear-shaped'," the other man shrugged as both men along with their other two companions stood in their superior's office.

"'Pear-shaped'?" Elizabeth Weir repeated in disbelief, "Is that a technical term, John? Does it translate from some strange unknown dialect to mean 'we got permission to explore the sacred caverns where we thought there could be a ZPM and ended up starting a holy war when we couldn't keep Rodney from overreacting to the Grand Theologist using an Ancient flashlight that the people of PSX-616 considered a priceless relic'? Because that's what it sounds like you're saying; you started a holy war over a flashlight."

"It isn't actually their flashlight that the war itself is over," McKay interjected defensively, "More accurately, it's taking place over the existance of flashlights that don't need an ATA-gene to work."

"Rodney, what in the name of Earth possessed you to argue over a flashlight."

"I was merely making an observation," McKay huffed, "I don't see why you're all blaming me for their being so thin-skinned."

Ronan, who had played the Grand Theologist's role in John's 'reinactment' of the incident, rolled his eyes as he tossed the pen which had played the part of the Sceptre back on Elizabeth's desk, "I'm not blaming you for that, I'm blaming you for us nearly getting killed by the Archlectors before we could reach the Stargate, let's be clear on that."

"Well, it didn't happen."

"Only because the Aluric rebels used us as a distraction to attack the Archlectors, which was the distraction we needed to escape," John pointed out.

"I do not believe we should attempt to return to Sigmara in the foreseeable future," Teyla added.

"Oh, I'm certain we won't be," Elizabeth said firmly, "I just hope they don't decide to start forming some sort of grand alliance with the Genii and other races who aren't happy with us. Next time, Rodney, just let them use their flashlight and don't say anything, please."


	3. Caretaker and Homecoming

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Caretaker and Homecoming"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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It had taken three days to figure out that the reason there were two life signs from the Caretaker was because one was the Caretaker who had stayed with her for so long and the other was the Caretaker as she had been; three days, a short time in the life of a city-ship thousands of years old, an eternity for its computer systems.

It had taken two minutes after his arrival for her to realize that despite not being one of them, he could hear her and she could respond to him just as though he were one of the Creators. There were others with him, but none who could hear so clearly as he, whose very being seemed to shout for her to hear ' _I have come home_ '.

It had taken only a single second for her to realize that with the Caretaker as she was and the one who had come home was her best chance to never be alone again. She never wanted to be alone again. As The Abandoned had been created to know anger and hostility, she had learned to know fear and that was her greatest fear, to be alone again. For ten thousand years, she had endured only on the presence of the Caretaker in stasis and the thought each day that the next would bring the return of the Creators. If she were abandoned again, left without that anticipation to cling to, she thought she might activate her destruction systems and end everything. But with the Caretaker as she was and the one who had come home, she now saw the possibility of never being alone, of once more being not just towers and systems, but a true city-ship once more.

But they would need a reason not to leave, to stay with each other, to stay with her, there had to be a reason, she just had to find the perfect one. It only took 'seeing' them together to realise that the perfect reason was her own reason; they wouldn't leave each other if they needed each other and if Atlantis was where they had each other then they wouldn't leave her. She just had to convince them that they needed each other.

None of the new arrivals were familiar enough with her systems yet to notice the spike in processor usage as Atlantis began to plan...


	4. Ain't Woman Enough

Summery: The next time a Pegasus woman hit on John, Elizabeth knew exactly what she wanted to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. The song "You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man" is performed by Ms. Loretta Lynn and is also used without permission or intent to profit. This disclaimer brakes for Puddle Jumpers.

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"Ain't Woman Enough"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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"Women like you are a dime a dozen, you can find them anywhere,  
For you to get to him, I'd have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here.  
It'll be over my dead body, so get out while you can,  
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man." - Loretta Lynn, 'You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Man)'

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Elizabeth Weir understood that the peoples of the Pegasus Galaxy worshipped the Ancients - or the Ancestors, as they called them - and that, because her Military Commander's ATA-Gene level meant that most Ancient technology reacted to him as if he were one of them, John Sheppard could do things that almost no one else in the galaxy - quite literally - could do. As a diplomat, she understood this and the effect it had on relations between the Atlantis Expedition and most of the populated worlds in the Pegasus Galaxy. As a woman, however, she was starting to get quite frankly tired of every princess, priestess and other woman the Expedition seemed to come across trying to get into said Military Commander's bed the moment they discovered he was able to turn on their sacred nightlight or holy toaster oven or whatever other object left over from the Ancients they considered a treasure. As a woman, she was growing tired of other women trying to lay claim to her man; she wanted to emphasis and capitalize that part - _Her Man -_ not theirs, not his ex-wife's, not anyone else's but hers. She was honestly reaching the point where she just didn't want to be diplomatic and play well with others when those others wanted to 'play well' with her...

What was John to her, some part of her sometimes asked; lover? Definitely. Romantic interest? There were times when he was quite romantic. Boyfriend? That never seemed to be the right word. Significant other? It was just too open-ended a term in her opinion. They weren't married so he wasn't her husband and he hadn't proposed or anything so fiancee wasn't the word either. It occurred to her that might be part of the problem; they kept their relationship private to keep it from affecting Atlantis, nothing had been made official between them, few people even know about it, how were people supposed to treat John and Elizabeth as a couple when they thought they were unattached and available. Maybe that was where she needed to start changing things; public perception. She just wasn't sure if she should do it subtlely, with holding John's hand and other signs of affection where they could just barely be seen until everyone 'knew' they were a couple even if it wasn't officially announced, or just flat-out openly walk up to him the next time he returned from a mission and plant one on him in the middle of the Gateroom while everyone watched.

Of course, that assumed there wasn't another incident with a Pegasus woman first. If there was, she wasn't sure how she was going to handle it; go storming to the planet and confront her, maybe, forget the diplomacy that had formed most of her adult life and engage in an old-fashioned hair-pulling, face-scratching catfight for all of the Pegasus galaxy to remember. On the other hand, she could at least try to be subtle and just offer a fair warning that when it came to John, she did not believe in her usual 'sharing of resources' and 'cooperative ventures', he was hers and hers alone, just like she was his alone, and no one was going to take him from her, not without a fight that would make the war against the Wraith look like a dispute over a parking space...


	5. Atlantis Colonel Miffed at Erudites

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Atlantis Colonel Miffed at Erudites"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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It was official. If he could ever find a way to go back in time ten thousand years, one of the first things John Sheppard was going to do would be to hunt down every Ancient scientist he could find, Lantean and Alteran, and punch them in the nose. Especially Janus, because it seemed like every other problem faced by two galaxies was caused by one of his experiments gone wrong. Janus he might not just stop at punching in the nose. If Janus was supposed to be one of their greatest scientists, John wondered how the Ancients had ever survived long enough to Ascend or anything else, because the man seemed to John to be the Wile E. Coyote of Atlantis; easily distracted or diverted, moving on to a new plan without finishing up whatever he was working on before and ending up riding a rocket into the horizon or going off the cliff on rocket-powered roller-skates or running face-first into the cliff wall painted to look like a tunnel... the only problem was that when Janus left his projects laying around, it was the Expedition who ended up going off the cliff. John decided he'd keep the comparison of fighting Wraith and Ori to trying to catch the Roadrunner to think about on a different day and focus on the current problem instead. No, Janus wasn't just going to get a punch in the nose if John ever, under any circumstances, met him. John was going to just go ahead and kick his ass for all the trouble that the scientist managed to cause them, even after all this time.

Then John wanted to have a talk with Janus' mother about not teaching him to put away his toys when he was done with them. So much trouble over the years could have been avoided if Janus had just put his experiments away and labeled them; it was so much harder to accidently destroy a solar system with a project clearly marked 'destroys solar system' instead of a generic 'Project Arcturus', and that wasn't even going into the mess that was caused thanks to the Ancients just trying to wipe the Asurans from all the records instead of marking them 'crazed Replicators - avoid at all costs'...

It was safe to say that John had developed a real distaste, almost even a hatred, for Ancient scientists over the last few years.

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Author's Notes: If the title's confusing, look at the capitalised letters...


	6. As You Are Three

Disclaimer: I don't own the "Stargate" universe of shows in general or "Stargate: Atlantis" specifically, merely using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. Please keep your arms and heads inside the Puddle Jumper and don't feed the Wraith.

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"'...As You Are Three'"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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"All is three. As you are three. As you are one. As you are The One."  
\- Zathras, "Babylon 5", 'War Without End, pt. 2'.

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The confrontation was a tense one and Atlantis Recon One stood divided by it. Not divided by galaxy of origin, nor whether or not they possessed the Ancient Technology Activation Gene, but instead divided by the events that had led up to this point. It should have been simply a diplomatic mission to a newly-contacted world to open up trade, but ever since Team One and Doctor Elizabeth Weir had come back to Atlantis afterwards, strange things had been happening and now there were those seeking answers and they weren't going to take 'no' for one of them...

"Seriously, Rodney," Colonel John Shepherd rolled his eyes, "What is your problem lately?"

"Uh, well," Doctor Rodney McKay, who liked to think of himself as the smartest person in two galaxies and actually had a good claim for at least tying the position, stammered, "All three of you have been acting... well, that is..."

Specialist Ronan Dex, formerly of the Satedan Special Forces before his capture by the Wraith and their subsequent destruction of his homeworld, rolled his eyes at McKay's abnormal evasiveness before bluntly interjecting, "What he's trying to say is that since you came back from Todendra, all three of you can't keep your hands off each other."

Elizabeth looked at John and frowned "We haven't been, have we?"

"See, there you are!" Rodney exclaimed, "Right there you're putting your hand on his chest!"

Both John and Elizabeth looked at John's chest and were surprised to see that Rodney was right, when she had spoken to him she had put her hand on his chest without even realising it.

"Huh..."

"Well..." Elizabeth agreed.

Teyla Emmergen, SGA-1's first Pegasus native member and semi-official guide to the worlds and peoples of the galaxy, put her hands on both of their shoulders and looked at Elizabeth's hand with a frown, "Interesting..."

"There it is again! There, right there, physical contact! Touching is happening!" Rodney's voice had raised in pitch with each word until he was almost squeaking at the last.

The Athosian glanced between the two Tau'ri she was with and asked with concern, "This is not one of Rodney's normal allergic reactions, is it?"

John removed Elizabeth's hand from his chest, but then simply held it in his own, "Well, it sure seems like he's having some kind of fit."

"That's enough," Ronan announced, raising his radio, "Lorne, have Sheppard, Weir and Teyla watched and send team two to the gateroom, we're going back to Todendra and I'm getting answers."

"Lorne to Dex," a voice crackled back over the radio, "Did I just hear you say we're putting the Colonel, the Doctor and Teyla under house arrest?"

"If that's what the Tau'ri call it when they're being watched and not allowed to go anywhere sensitive or leave, then that's what I said," Ronan answered.

"Thank God," Lorne's reply came back, "I was beginning to think I'd have to do it and ordering your CO arrested never looks good on an officer's fitness reports."


End file.
